Spiritual ADHD – The Problem

3/17/2011

Spiritual ADHD – The Problem

I have come to the conclusion that I have Spiritual ADHD.

I recently read an article that listed the symptoms of Adult Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder:

· Trouble concentrating and staying focused

· Hyperfocus

· Disorganization and forgetfulness

· Impulsivity

· Emotional difficulties

· Hyperactivity or restlessness

This described my spiritual walk exactly.

I have to sit near the front during church sermons or else my focus shifts to the things around me. The ‘shiny things’, the earrings on the lady in front of me, the spot on the carpet, a mark on the ceiling; good thing I can’t see outside or else I would be watching butterflies.

Even up front I fidget, play with my hair, shuffle my feet, pinch my nose. I sometimes nod excessively. I purse my lips, widen my nostrils, and lick the backside of my teeth. I lightly nudge the people around me, I pull at my shirt, I blink, I stare wide eyed at the one speaking. I am now taking copious amounts of notes. All of this is a coping mechanism to FORCE myself to pay attention.

I hear a great idea or about a mission and I jump all the way into the pool, clothes still on, and allow it to consume my very existence. I have so many oars in the water I often find my boat is just sedentary but I am exhausted.

I get all these great spiritual ideas and thoughts but it is a fight to finish and follow through with any one of them before my mind is racing on to the next great idea. I can’t seem to allow an idea to marinate.

I cheat each activity I am involved in as I am thinking about the next activity rather than existing in and FOR that moment.

I am often a spiritual emotional mess. I struggle a LOT.

God tries speaking to me, but I OFTEN interrupt Him with what I THINK He was going to say, finishing the sentence He never even started. I fail to do any of my homework, have horrible study skills, and have to be reminded about a billion times what God says about things.

I can put tape over my mouth and toothpicks in my eyes, but I can’t seem to tape my HEAD shut. Meditation is the equivalent to climbing Mount Everest for me. Something I admire in others but cannot seem to accomplish for myself. Meditation begins with great intention, but often ends with a nap or a wasted daydreaming event. If God is trying to talk to me, I am drowning out His words with my own. The closest I can get to meditation is to repeat a Psalm or a verse from the Bible and force my brain to shut all other thoughts off.

I feel like I am making God dizzy. I know I am making myself dizzy.

The article went on to list the effects of adult ADHD:

· Physical and mental health problems

· Work and financial difficulties

· Relationship problems

In my walk, these are the very areas that I struggle with the most. Physical and mental spiritual health, working for God, fully relying upon Him in all my financial affairs (although I have recently become faithful with tithing I still have to force myself to release anxiety on matters involving money, and bills), and I struggle with my relationships. With God, with family, with friends, with coworkers, with strangers; it is an ongoing area of difficulty for me.

I find myself saying again: being aware is the first step to fixing a problem.

Under usual circumstances I would rush off for a solution. A fix all cure. Slap a band aid on me and move on to my next project. Since that is the very nature of my problem I find it best that I let these thoughts marinate overnight instead. Perhaps even longer.

I am reminded that I cannot help anyone else if I cannot help myself. I cannot throw a lifesaver to someone else while I am drowning.

All I need to do right now is BE STILL.

{He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” -Psalm 46:10

The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” -Exodus 14:14}

1 Corinthians 10:31(KJV) …whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God!

Be blessed and know that Jesus ADORES you! And so do I!